Perfect Little Boy

Jayden Dale Sharp was born Saturday September 17th at 7:42 am, He was 1.5 pounds, and was about 11 inches long! I went into labor and deliver at 9 at night, finally got an IV in at around 11. Earlier that day my doctor had inserted 5 sticks of seaweed in my cervix to try and get things going. After they got the IV in they gave me cytotec which is supposed to help dilate and  soften my cervix. I expected Jayden to take a little while to come, i started having contractions on my own in the middle of the night (they hadn't even started pitocin yet) and finally asked for an epidural at 4:30 am thinking i wanted to rest so i'd have my strength to push later that evening (i hadn't really slept). I never expected to have him so early! My water broke on it's own at 6:30 am and less than an hour later i was dilated to a 7. It only took me three pushes and Jayden was out!

When i first saw him I knew he was gone. I was so overcome with emotion, I can't even explain how I was feeling. He was so sweet, he looked so peaceful. His nose was the only thing that wasn't bruised which was so special to me because that has always been my favorite feature since his ultrasounds. We quickly noticed he has his daddy's feet (Cory's middle toe is noticeably larger than his big toe). I was really scared to handle him as he was so small and his skin was so fragile. We had my parents and cory's parents there. They got a chance to hold him. We gave him a fathers blessing. And cory even got a chance to bathe him.

I can't express enough how much I love Jayden. He is and will always be my little angel. He made the biggest impact on my life. I will miss getting to hold him and watch him grow, but i know he is in better hands. I know he's up there with my grandparents and cory's, and i'm sure he's telling his future siblings how excited we are to meet them.

When we left this hospital it was pretty hard. Most mom's leave with their babies. I was leaving with a teddy bear and some flowers. The first night i remember just crying wishing i could hold my little boy. I know the next few months and even years will be hard but I have many who support and love me.

We held a funeral Yesterday Friday the 23rd. We had tons of support! Thank you so much who came and gave us love. Cory and I are so blessed. I can't say that enough. Dallas Stratton, a friend of ours, read a poem by an unknown artist that i think fit perfectly;

Daddy please dont look so sad,
Mommy please dont cry,
I am in the arms of jesus
and he sings me lullibies.
Please do not try to question god,
dont think he is unkind.
Dont think he sent me to you,
and then he changed his mind.
you see im special,
and im needed above
im the special child you gave him,
the product of your love.
ill always be there with you.
so watch the sky at night,
find the brightest star that's gleaming,
thats my halo's brilliant light.
so daddy please dont look so sad,
mommy please dont cry,
im in the arms of jesus
and he sings me lullibies.

Here's a few pictures from the hospital. Again thank you to everyone involved with funeral arrangements and support. I feel so blessed.