Jayden Dale

So my sister Daleen has been telling me for a while now that I need to start a blog, so i figured now would be a good time. So as some of you know I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with our first son Jayden. We found out a week and a half ago that he has Trisomy 18, which basically is a chromosomal defect on his 18th chromosome. So here's how our day went.

Two weeks ago Cory had the day off so he was able to come to my 20 week ultrasound (thank goodness) so we headed to our doctor around 10 and they sent us down to ultra sound. We had an ultrasound around 16 weeks to find out his gender so we were interested to see how much bigger he had gotten in just 4 weeks. The ultrasound tech was apparently a really good actress because it was all smiles and laughing during the whole thing, he even had hiccups which was really cute! I look back and now realize why she was spending so much time trying to "get a good look at his heart". She told us we might have to come back for more pictures because she couldn't get a good picture. Other than that our baby boy had perfect heartbeat, measurements were up to date, and he was rolling around as happy as a clam.

So after we got our pictures and dvd we headed up to talk to our doctor. We got in pretty quick, did the normal weight check and urine sample and waited for the doctor to come in. I remember thinking to myself can we get this over with so i can go home and enjoy the rest of the day with Cory since it was his only day off in a while. I had also just gotten back from San Antonio where my sister Daleen and Brian had just moved. Anyway, so our doctor comes in all bubbly asking how I'm doing, nothing seems wrong then all of a sudden she sits and gives us the news. Jayden only has two chambers in his heart, they also noticed cysts in his brain which are normal in some babies but his are a little bigger than normal, so she wanted us to go over to the university hospital to get more in depth ultrasounds and testing done. I was overcome with shock. It wasn't until the doctor left i began to sob. I was so confused because everything seemed fine, Jayden look perfect in our eyes.

We then headed to the university, and headed into a room to get another ultrasound. As the tech was taking pictures i sat crying, more nervous than i've ever been in my life. What is wrong with our sweet little boy? The tech started to look at his heart again and i asked her so is he going to be okay?? She responded by telling me his heart is definitely an "abnormal" heart. They confirmed that he only had two chambers. They also told us that his kidney's were backed up because they weren't working properly, he also had clenched fist's and his feet were wider than normal. All in all the perfect boy i saw was somehow imperfect. My first thoughts were how can this be happening?? Everything was fine this morning, so i thought. I never thought in a million years that the stories of children having birth defects would be in fact my child.

We next talked to a genetic counselor to figure out exactly what he has going on. They said that at the top of there list was a syndrome called Trisomy 18 and started to explain what it was. Now i'm no medical doctor or scientist so i was completely confused. I basically just wanted to know what we needed to to from there. She said they could preform a procedure called amniocentesis to determine if it is indeed trisomy 18 and the results would come back in a few days. So we went with the procedure and sure enough found out it was what we expected. They explained that we could terminate the pregnancy and do what they called a D&E which we know is not an option for us, or continue on the pregnancy knowing he most likely won't make it to full term with how severe his case is. This has been the hardest trial i have been through thus far. Every mom expects there kids to be healthy in everyway.

I've done lots of research, read other stories on babies with trisomy 18, and have sought out counsel from family and close friends. I know that Jayden is teaching Cory and I a valuable lesson. One that will change our lives forever. I know that even if Jayden is born alive and lives for only seconds, mins, or even hours, that i have done my part in giving him what he needs. A body. He is a choice spirit and is too good for this earth. I love him dearly even though i can't hold or see him yet. And i think he knows that. The bond between a mother and child while still in the womb is greater than anyone knows.

I have tons of wonderful family and friends that i know i couldn't be so strong without. It is such a blessing to know i have such great support in hard times like these. I also have the best husband in the world. He keeps me going everyday and cheers me on. He is like no other guy i've met. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I also have the best sister in this world. Daleen has always been such an example to me and i hope to be half the mom she is to her kids one day.

So now we wait, until Jayden is ready to come. I leave it up to him because i know he deserves a fair chance to make it even in his circumstances. I'm excited to spend the rest of these months bonding with him, taking things day by day. I know i'll have my good days and bad ones but i'll cherish them for the rest of my life.